Dave's layman guide to speaking Thai

Like many other languages int the area, Thai is a tonal language with five distinct tones: mid, falling, rising, low, high. Unless you are familiar with tonal languages, it's pretty difficult to master. Depending on the tone that is used, the words can have completely different meaning. There is a famous phrase:
my my my my

when used with the following tones:
high tone, low tone, falling tone, rising tone.

translates to:
New wood burns, doesn't it?

Fortunately basic Thai words are mono syllabic giving them a harsh sound, but making them easy to pronounce. I found that if I talk fast and within the context of a given situation, that Thai listeners are forgiving of the lack of tonality.

Important things to know are the polite trailers kop and ka. These should always trail a greeting, question or request. It makes a big difference to a Thai stranger if you tack on this trailer or not. kop is used if you (the speaker) are male, or ka if you are female. kop and ka by themselves also mean "yes" or "uh huh".

When initially attempting Thai on a stranger, it's a good idea to start the conversation with a "Hello" which is saa waa dee [kop|ka]. This is a good idea because it says to the Thai listener "Even though I'm a foreigner I'm going to attempt to talk to you in Thai, so turn off your English parser"

Some important Thai phrases:


I'm Looking for toilet paper - poem ha kradot chom ra


thank you - kop koon [kop|ka]

So if you enter a store in a hurry, you say:
saa waa dee [kop|ka], poem ha kradot cham ra, kop koon [kop|ka]
Hello!, I'm looking for toilet paper, thanks bud!

Due to prevalent dysentery among foreigners and the lack of TP in the public bathrooms, this phrase could certainly make your life more comfortable.

Other phrases:
no problem - my bin rye (this can also be used in the context of Thank you,You're welcome)
good luck - choke dee (can be used in good byes)

FOOD...

Unless you have been in the area a long time and have built up a flora of intestinal fortitude, don't order any food that hasn't been cooked or touched with untreated water. (don't forget ice cubes). with that reminder out of the way...

If you find yourself in some booney town where all they have is a little restaurant with only a Thai menu, you can count on being able to order fried rice and a coke. Just say "nong coke and a cow pot moo". That should get you a coke and a pork fried rice.

Fried rice can be found in all restaurants.

fried rice - cow pot
fried rice with pork - cow pot moo
fried rice with chicken - cow pot guy

the break down is: rice - cow
fried - pot

typical cost is 20 baht = US$.80.

Other dishes:

Drinks

check please - check bean [kop|ka]

Numbers

Knowing numbers are important if one is on a budget. If you can bargain in the local language, the bottom cost of what you're bargaining for will likely be half as much as it would be if you attempt to bargain in English.

You ask: How many baht? - key bot

Numbers:

Twenties are a special case, although if you forget, the listening Thai will likely smile, know what you mean, and then correct you.

A good Phrasebook book to take along is Lonely Planet's "Thai Phrasebook". It's about US$4.00 and unlike other phrase books the listed phrases are limited to only useful phrases. Fluff phrases like "Would you like some chocolate cake?" have been left out.

Dave Thompson