What To Do With Three Stolen, Wrecked Dodge Hellcats

When we first saw this news story about four teenagers allegedly driving 200 miles to steal three Dodge Hellcats in Missouri, only to wreck them immediately, we thought “Idiots.” Then we thought “Idiots with good taste and bad driving skills.” Then we thought, “I wonder what will happen to those Hellcat engines?” Why is it that we feel the constant, pressing need to play, “What if…?” Don’t say, “Losers with nothing better to do.”

 

Anyhow here are five things you could do with a complete drivetrain or three from those wrecked Dodge Hellcats. But don’t steal them. That’s wrong.


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General Mayhem Clone

Pretty much a no-brainer, right? Find your own crusty Charger. Don’t touch the paint. Add 707 horsepower. Take it everywhere.

Jeep Hellcat

In January, auto journalist Brian Makse broke the news that Jeep is building a Hellcat version of the Cherokee to be up for sale by the end of 2017. But why wait? Score yourself a cheap Cherokee and build a rad SUV that will leave leave smoldering 11s in the grocery-store parking lot.

Aussie burnout-contest machine

If you’ve got 707 horsepower sitting around, you have a solid start on a rubber-to-smoke conversion kit for something like the 727 cubic-inch Holden HSV we drove Down Under in Episode 10. If you had the scratch, you could almost justify shipping them to Australia, dumping them in one of the cool late ’70s Chrysler Valiants, and then burning tires to the nubs.

pony_cars

 

Savage pony-car blasphemy

Old-school hot-rodders will tell you there’s no such thing as a wrong engine swap; you put what you’ve got into the other thing you’ve got. So maybe you’ve got a Hellcat engine and a Mustang or a Camaro laying around. Put the engine in the car…Hellpony or Hellmaro sounds good to us.

Roadkill_Magnum2001

Take my ‘78 Dodge Magnum. Please, take it.

As you might have guessed by the lack of updates over the last eight months, I’ve given up on the rusted-out Project Regretmobile ‘78 Magnum that I intended to build for the 24 Hours of LeMons. It’s being parted out and headed for the scrapper soon unless you’re more of a masochist than I am, but a Hellcat in one of the late B-Body cars (Magnum, Dodge Charger SE, Chrysler Cordoba) would make a whopper of a sleeper.

What else? Surely, you had the same bad idea(s) and some worse ones, though “stealing a Hellcat” isn’t among them. That’s still dumb.

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