Hella Sweet Lemons Car of the Week: The Yellow Submarine Honda CRX

We see so many great racin’ machines in the 24 Hours of Lemons that we can’t tell the story of every single one. Starting right now, though, we’ll be bringing you a weekly mini-feature on selected Lemons cars; welcome to the Hella Sweet Lemons Car of the Week!

This week’s HCOTW is a 1989 Honda CRX, known by Lemons racers across the country as The Yellow Submarine. This car is one of the battle-scarred survivors of the series, having competed in seven states while in the hands of three different teams, getting the win on laps in two races and contending in many more. The first time we saw this car was at the notorious 2009 Lamest Day 24 Hours of Lemons, at Nelson Ledges in Ohio. It wore black paint that race, and Clueless Racing finished 79th out of 122 entrants.

After taking the overall win at the 2010 American Irony race in Michigan, the wise and fair Lemons Supreme Court judges suggested that the team enter a Borgward Hansa at the subsequent race. Instead, the Clueless crew did a sort of quarter-assed Borgwardization of the CRX… which threw a connecting rod and lost to a Dodge Neon.

After competing in Lemons races Michigan, Illinois, and Iowa, Clueless Racing decided to hit the extremely weird 2010 season-ender at Palm Beach International Raceway. The now-gold Clueless CRX looked unbeatable… but then it threw a connecting rod and blew a head gasket for good measure, winning the team an I Got Screwed trophy. This is the life of a Honda racer in our series.

After Clueless won again at the 2011 Chicago race, the judges continued to pester the members of Clueless Racing about the boringness of their CRX. Feeling the pressure from the Solomonically fair Lemons Supreme Court justices, they turned it into a highly credible Yellow Submarine, complete with 1968-grade Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band outfits for the drivers. Naturally, they blew up their engine again. In fact, the Clueless Racing CRX was the most extreme example of a “break or win” car in series history.

Tiring of all the engine replacements and head-gasket jobs by 2013, Clueless Racing sold the very battered Yellow Submarine to Team Coq Poutine in California. The West Coast Lemons events are the toughest in the whole series, and Coq Poutine battled the usual Honda problems while competing for several years at Thunderhill Raceway, Sonoma Raceway, and Buttonwillow Raceway Park.

Then, this year, the Yellow Submarine changed hands again. Today, the much-scarred sub is in the hands of Team Wir Underwater und Wir Sinking About It. At the Arse Sweat-a-Palooza, Team WUUWSAI finished 39th out of 66 entries, laying down some decent lap times in the process.

We hereby declare the Yellow Submarine to be Hella Sweet!

Roadkill Fall 2016 Cover