The second LeMons Rally may not be quite as historically significant as Napoleon’s actual retreat from Moscow—forever immortalized through Charles Joseph Minard’s 1869 graphic and twisted to our own means (below)—but the mid-winter Retreat From Moscow rally will test your cushy life of modernity. Unlike the first Death-Valley-in-summer Hell on Wheels LeMons Rally, this sequel gives you the glory of traveling the wintry eastern United States with nothing but your untrustworthy whip, some foolish friends, a sense of adventure, and a pile of other janky road cars undergoing the same trials as you.
The rally starts January 31 in Moscow (Pennyslvania) and ends February 3 in Paris (Tennessee), meaning that participants will traverse potential winter wonderlands on the way to overnight stops in Pittsburgh, Asheville, and Memphis. The route ends in Paris with awards handed out in the paddock of the 24 Hours of LeMons’ season opener at nearby Barber Motorsports Park in Birmingham, Alabama.
The rules of the LeMons Rally are pretty simple: Bring a street-legal and insured road car to the starting point, where your car will be assessed points on its hooptieness and general bad-idea-tude. (Attempt to) drive your vehicle to the overnight stops listed above. You’ll get points for reaching the end of the day. Along the way, additional points can be accrued by stopping at various awesome/scary/terrible checkpoints with your mascot. Creative roadside repairs can also garner points, as can a good story or two (with some documentation).
Trophies are handed out at the end for the most points accrued as well as an Organizer’s Choice award, two as-yet-unspecified trophy for deserving fools, and a handful of Dishonorable Mention awards.
Like everything else in the world of LeMons (#LemonsWorld), fun is the object here. So load up your most adventurous and foolhardy friends in some winter-survivable piece of roadgoing junk and register. Check out details on the LeMons Rally and register for it right here.